Get up and go!

I think the layout for this blog is fitting, don't you? "Minima black?" It suits someone trying to lose weight. The word "minima" is pretty self-explanatory. And black is said to be the most slimming color, right?

Okay, enough BSing around. I'm here to do one thing: lose weight. Duh. I've struggled with being overweight pretty much since...1st grade? I can remember looking at my 1st grade school picture. I wore a denim jumper and had a short (nearly bowl) cut. I was quite tomboyish, but that didn't make me care about my looks any less. Looking at the chub on my cheeks, I can remember hating what I saw, but what can you really do about it as a first grader? Not a whole lot.

However, as the years went on, the weight never came off. In fact, I have gained quite a bit. My goal isn't based upon "being skinny." It's based upon being healthy and wanting to live well past my prime of life. I don't want to have to worry about severe health problems and heart attacks at a young age. Being way over my BMI at this age is ridiculous.

I don't have any great excuses that make this okay. In fact, there's nothing that could ever justify my body. However, I do believe there are things that have contributed in their own ways.
1) Depression/Anxiety--I am not going to lie: I can be a nutcase. I have dealt with severe panic disorder that can leave me shivering and crying in bed for days on end. Or, I get to a point where I become so overwhelmed that I end up shutting down completely. It can also lead me to eat more than my fair share of food, or I'll eat nothing at all. Right now, I'm in a severe bout of depression that some college students go through when adjusting. My adjustment period has not seemed to let up yet, despite the fact that I'm an incoming junior this fall. :)

2) Bad Genes--A few months ago, my grandmother told me, "Cassandra, you come from a fat family." Ouch, a little harsh, Granny. But she's right. Many of my family members struggle with weight issues. Not to mention they all love to eat, and not necessarily the best foods for them. I do tend to eat healthier than many of them, but I still struggle. My mom's side of the family especially has struggled with diabetes, gallbladder problems, bad metabolisms, etc. I'd imagine that must relate in some way. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Ma.) I swear, some of my friends can eat five ice cream cones and not gain a pound. If I were to even smell a dollop of the hot fudge they put on it, I could very well gain 3 pounds on the spot.

3) Financial Situations--I'm a college student. We're poor. And I definitely know many of you could relate. Society keeps telling us to "eat produce, complex carbs, drink water, etc.!" Well, if there are a pound of grapes on the shelf for $4 and a lean TV dinner for $0.88, guess what I'm picking? I cannot afford, at this point in time, to eat all those great healthy foods all the time. I try really hard to get veggies and fruits integrated into my every day diet, but sometimes I can't even afford to get any food (good or bad) integrated.

4) Likes vs. Dislikes--I really wish I had been blessed with the love for sports my brother possesses. He can eat a whole bag of Doritos in one sitting. However, he's muscley, tall, and skinny. All because he's involved in sports nearly all the time. I cannot, for the life of me, play volleyball, basketball, softball, hockey, etc. It's not because I'm lacking skill. It's because I have no interest in those sports. I was born an artsy type. I did participate in dance, and that is part of the reason my weight didn't absolutely skyrocket. It always kept me under control. However, I am no longer a part of any dance studio and don't see it happening anytime in the future. It's time for me to compensate. Yes, I can still sit on the couch and read books or play video games. However, I need to get off my butt and do some DDR (Dance, Dance Revolution), aerobics, or dancing. I also love my stability ball! Highly recommended.


Okay, so those are just a few reasons contributing to my big butt. I know it's all about me making a lifestyle change, and I think it's about time.
In fact, I decided to make a little challenge for myself. I want to lose weight, yes. But part of my goal is leading up to losing weight for a big event. Don't think me too nerdy, but I'm attending my sixth Hanson concert in September. The 26th, to be exact. I'd like to look pretty spiffy for it, and that includes shaping up.
I've loved this band since I was 7-years-old, and they've motivated me through so much in my life. So why not this? I can't think of anybody better to help me.

So here it is. All on the line. For all of you. I'm here to stay. I'm bearing my soul, through the good and the bad. I know I'll have slipups. Some days, I might pig out. Some days, I'll forget about all the motivation I have and only focus on the bad things. That's just who I am. But I know I have to get back on the train again. I can't quit just because I take a step backward.

This is just going to be a place where I can post my stats and track my progress. One day, I may just post numbers. Another day, I may post nearly a novel on how I'm feeling. Because it all adds up to a journey I'll need to take.

And it's time to say, "Mmmbye, weight!"