Message Board Reflections

On one of the message boards at SparkPeople.com, someone posted a question.

What are the three things that keep you going?

I realized there are so many things I don't think of consciously which give me motivation. I mean, I don't start each workout by saying to myself, "Think about ______, ______, and ______. Then, you'll make it through this."

However, subconsciously, there are little reminders hidden everywhere in my world. Things that make me feel determined. Things that make me feel better. Things that give me motivation. Things that make me want to be DONE being the fat girl.

One thing that gives me endless amounts of support, despite his realization he is doing so, is my cat, Romeo. Now, before you label me as the crazy cat lady, hear me out. Ever since I got my little bundle of joy from the Humane Society in May '07, he's been my baby. Even when he's driving me up a wall, I still feel the need to cuddle him and take care of him.
If I'm having a hard time getting out of bed, he reminds me, "Hey, you need to feed me!" Gentle headbutts against my face, straining meows, and a rough sandpaper tongue licking your hands will be more than enough to get you out of bed.
And no matter what, one thing I love about him is that he doesn't care how big, small, smart, dumb, crabby, or emotional I am. He loves me for ME. He's thankful for the food he receives (although, he gets whiney about getting it exactly on time every day), the praises, and the adoration he gets. Anything beyond the bare necessities is something for him to rejoice in.
Granted, he does love new toys, new treats, snacks, and lots of other little extras. But you know what? Nothing compares to cuddling in for a long night's sleep with his mommy. No matter what, I'm always going forward for him.

Okay, yeah, that's the feline-side of the spectrum. I also have a special person in my life who is just as supportive of me, and can vocalize it in a way for me to understand. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2.5 years now. And we're still going strong. Yes, of course we have our little bumps in the road. I'd be concerned if we didn't have arguments or disagree every now and again. I get mad, because he takes a long time to get up in the mornings. He gets mad, because I get crabby and distrusting.
Even though we go through those things, I know he always loves me and is there for me. Most of the time, he doesn't sit there and verbalize, "Oh, I'm so proud of you not eating that cheeseburger today!" He's a boy, for goodness sakes. However, he will let me know in subtle ways that he supports me.
He also seems to love me unconditionally, even though I am not in control of feeding him, like I am for Romeo. He once told me something to the effect of, "I don’t care if you are 30 pounds or 300 pounds, I still love you." I’m sure he was just exasperated with me always saying, "I look so fat in this." But it was sweet, nonetheless.
If I didn't have someone around me all the time who is so full of pride at the things I accomplish, who truly wants me to succeed, and surely believes I can do it, I'm not sure I'd have made it as far in this journey as I have in just under a month. I'm making a lifestyle change, and he's working to change his life in order to make us both better people.

There are so many other things in my life I could list that motivate me: parents, friends, family, future plans, etc. However, I'm not going to forget the most important part of the equation. What's the one thing that makes all of this possible?
ME.
If I weren't doing this for myself, I'd be hard-pressed to get past day 1. This isn't just about getting a healthier, slimmer figure. This is about healing my mind as well. I've always put myself on the proverbial backburner, thinking that other things are more important to take care of. But if you forget to take care of yourself, you can never fully give love and help to other things in your life.
I'm finally telling myself, "You are worth it." I've never felt worth it in my life. I've always felt I did something wrong to become this way. Something from which I don't deserve to escape.
But I do.
And if you're reading this, remember, you deserve happiness in your life. Whether it's losing weight, kicking an addiction, re-connecting with family or friends, or any other thing that is bothering you, you deserve to make it there. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.
Go for it. Maybe you're like me. Maybe you have a lousy metabolism and a long ways to go in a weight-loss journey. And maybe that doesn't seem fair. You see friends who can eat ice cream and cookies and chips and not gain a pound. And then, there's you. You gain 5 pounds just watching them eat.
So you have more of a challenge, eh? Big deal. That will just make it a thousand times better when you achieve your goals. Because you can say, "Yeah, that was really freaking hard, but I'm here. Take that."

So remember, there may be tons of things in your life that keep you going when you're ready to quit. But in this big equation, there's one thing that CANNOT be replaced or removed in order to get a successful end product: YOU.